Long time no write!

Before I "blow off steam" I read This article, it ticked every single box and made me start to realize that I need to start being a stronger person and stop fighting this fight that I know I won't win.

It's been almost 2 years since my last post, I am sorry, but luckily not too many read my blog anyway. So as many of my friends and family know I quite frequently in my life have had to deal with a few narcissists. But much like anything, narcississts do not acknowledge that they are the problem starters. After the new year I had decided to stop letting people bully me and bring me down.  I used to use this blog to blow off steam about how I was feeling, until it angered someone, and then I was told to stop "feeling" and "blowing off steam". I can honestly say I've hit many, many low points in my life and when dealing with certain people makes you feel like you'd rather be other places, it's time to get a backbone and stand up for yourself. It won't ever be easy, and it will always be "my fault" but I'm tired. I'm tired of being told that I am always in the wrong. I'm tired of consoling my spouse because he doesn't know what he did wrong or why he was suddenly the worst human possible. I am tired of drama and Facebook blocking and tattle taling on me because you read something that hurt your feelings. I'm tired of people trying to use my words against me. I'm tired of people using their children as a pawn to get back at people and purposely making them cry.  Its a drain on my emotional resources. I have to remember at the end of the day the most important people to me are the ones who really love me. They would never say something to purposely hurt me or try to break me emotionally. They know who they are and I love them right back.

My backbone will get stronger each day I remind myself that you have no control over me, your words are empty and nothing you can do or say will affect me ever again.

Hey, Lisa, where are you, and what the eff are you doing....

So, I have not posted on this blog in a long time, almost a year! Yikes.  Life just up and got away from me.  For anyone who has ever read this blog, but isnt friends with me in real life, I will tell you a secret (thats not really a secret).
I became an aerobics instructor, which was WAY out of my element.  I had been Jazzercising for about a year and half, and my instructors where constantly asking me if I wanted to certify.  I would always answer with - Ha ha, no, not right now- and go on my merry way.  In February I finally got bugged enough to do a movement screening.  I got through, alright I thought - no big deal- no commitment, and just because I passed my screening doesnt mean I am fit to be an instructor.  Fast forward to March, the training sessions. My legs hurt, my feet hurt, my toes hurt, and I wondered why anyone thought I could do this.  I really dont know who in their right mind saw that I could do it.  I soldiered on.  April 11th, my judgement day.  What a nerve racking day.  I kept telling myself that I didnt care if I got the gig or not, but once I got there, I realised that I really did want to do it, and I would be so upset with myself if I failed (you can always try again, but I WANTED TO PASS).  I was nervous, and shaky, and decided to go first, get it out of the way.  My routines were Dance Apocalyptic and Im Alive (life sounds like), YESSSSSS they were ones I actually liked!  I finished my set, waited for the other trainies to finish and we waited for our results.  I was a bundle of nerves, but I passed.

My first solo class was the 27th of April and I wanted to throw up, all day, until I had to get up there, I taught and from that day on I was on my own.

Yikes!  Im still learning things as a newbie instructor (dont do a routine if you hate the song, just dont...), other routines become your favourite, and eventually you will get through class without being exhausted.
Ive started enjoying myself more and more, and my learning routines and putting sets together is getting easier as the days go on.  Sometimes I wish I had certified sooner, but at the end of the day, this is some of the hardest work Ive ever done (besides motherhood obv).  Next step, start eating better and work on my pushups!

where does the time go.

The last time I posted, I had just returned home from a trip to Canada. Well, I just got back from another trip to Canada. The cousins got to hang out and i was so happy to meet my newest neice, and get lots of snuggle time in. My friend Karen got married and it was awesome. Her and her hubby did a completely d.I.y wedding and it was awesome. She loves all things vintage so she managed to work that into her wedding. From the typewriter to leave"love notes" to the mason jars holding her locally sourced flowers (smart move) and the wooden tables with burlap table runners this wedding represented Karen and Dan to a T. I really regret not having my huge camera to take more pictures! As a bridesmaid I was completely nervous about my dress, our bride gave us the go ahead to choose our dress based off her colour scheme. Since I was nowhere near her to get her opinion on my dress of choice I was worried until the day she saw it. I was originally going to make mine but chickened out and bought it off Eshakti instead. It worked out though, all the bridesmaids went together without clashing.
After the wedding I spent the rest of my time kicking around Ontario with my hubby and the kids. We took them to Niagara falls for the night and had an awesome time. I took lots of pictures with my phone, because I know they will not remember it when they get older. While they had passed out shortly before the fireworks went off I got to enjoy them from our hotel room in my Pjs. I got in many visits with my friends and their Kiddo's. I think I saw a love connection between my son and my friend Karen's daughter, maybe we should start planning their wedding.... I kid I kid. I of course got in lots of fabric shopping, I should post my finds on my sewing blog... Soon. Last but not least I got some thrift store shopping in. I didn't score any duplos like last time, but it wasn't a total loss. I found some my little ponies for my kids and a couple of cute shirts for me. I wish I was a picture taker but alas I get so into the moment I forget that I have a camera in my pocket and miss out.
Well that's it for now, ta.

My trip to Canada

It's been quiet on my blog, which is not unusual around here, but there was actually a reason for it.  I was in Canada visiting friends and family!  I was lucky enough to be able to attend my friends Stag and Doe, and then the next weekend celebrate a very special little girls birthday (My neice turned one!).
 I also got in some small-ish shopping trips.  I was trying to find some books for my friends little girl, and my sister always says that kids don't need more toys, but you can never have enough books.  Well, books are expensive new, and I remembered something.  My friends is awesome, and loves vintage, she wouldn't mind if I headed to a thrift store (she would be proud) and found some books.  After I left the mall I headed to the Value Village across the street, and memories of highschool came flooding back to me.  I cannot believe I forgot how much I actually liked going to thrift stores.  Well, I found a lot of books, both for myself and for my friends daughter.  Then I head to the toy section, that was a bad idea, I found a New - My little Pony, and some Megablocks.  I kept the pony for my kids, and the blocks are staying at my moms house for every grandchild to enjoy.

It didn't end there, a few days later while visiting the same friends, we went to another Value Village, we bought more books, and I bought a few more toys for my kids.

Just when I thought it was safe, I stopped at ANOTHER Value Village while visiting my sister.  More books, more toys.

No I don't have a sickness, but it was highly addictive to walk into these stores, and not pay insane amounts of money for toys.  I would never get that kind of deal online, or even via Once upon a child (damn them and their markups).
I won't speak about the markups that thrift stores seem to have going on with clothing, but their toys and books with only $1 a piece, plus they had a buy 4 get one free there, so....score!

Anyway, I just wanted to share a bit of my haul, of some of the things I brought home

Those were some of my books, I ended up with 2 of the same books, with different covers, weird! The two disney books (beside the dora book at the top) were C's choice.  They were normally $15.00, but they were used, and $1 each.  He is a thrifter at heart that boy.  I found what I also hope were some good books for my friend, for her daughter, but alas no pictures of those.
In return, my super awesome friend bought me this (and also the 2 Disney Books that C found)

 YEAAAA.  I'm not sure how she found it, but it is awesome and covers my love of all things Alice in Wonderland.

It's hard to tell from this picture, but I also got quite a bit of Duplo while in Canada.  There were some Megablocks in the mix but the price was right and it was still better than buying new.
Also, I cleaned them up in the washing machine, but don't tell my husband :D

While some of the trip was stressful (travelling with my little ones by myself always unnerves me a little), it was awesome to see everyone.  I always had a huge pang of sadness hit me whenever I would have to walk out the door and leave.  I know I will see everyone again in August, but all of our babies are growing up, and not being able to just see them whenever I want really hurts.  You get used to your way of life, and when it changes it reminds you that life continues to go on, even when you aren't always there to see it.
I am looking forward to my next visit to see everyone, which I hope involves more visits with friends, and maybe some pre-wedding drinking with a few of my girls, before our lovely girl Karen gets married!

Tackling a budget!

When I was a single girl I never had a problem keeping control of my bills.  I tracked them online, opened the letters as soon as I received them and paid them on time (there were a few slips here and there, but I didn't make a habit of it).  I had complete control over everything, I knew my account numbers off the top of my head, and even though I was terrible at saving money, I made sure I took care of my bills. 
Since getting married and having kids, I have been slacking, hardcore.  I have been letting the hubby take care of all of this, and to be honest, it stressed me out.
I never knew the bank balance, still don't know ALL of our account information (scary I know) and had no idea what bills were paid and what ones weren't (so many damn LATE FEES).  The hubby finally asked me to start doing the budget and I agreed.  He joked that I was going to get to know all of our financial information and then leave him, but I assured him that it wasn't going to happen I just like knowing what's going on.
The reason I don't want to feel helpless is, I had an old co-worker whose husband took care of EVERYTHING!  Bills, car payments, even filling the car with gas.  As a 40 year old woman, she had no idea how to pump gas into her car.  We all expressed concern over this, but she assured us that it was nothing to worry about.  I really hope she knows what she is doing, or she is screwed!

I started doing the budgeting last week and am still getting used to it.  There are so many factors in America that I have to get used to, like -getting bills from the hospital or doctor-.  I never had to deal with that before so it's a little stressful, you never know when, or who you will be getting a bill from, and then you have to remember what you even got a treatment for.  We have great insurance, but I still dread opening those bills.. 

Then I had to start using a program.  Before I used Quicken (which I liked, and still do like to this day), but Hubby suggested I use YNAB (you need a budget).  I use it, but I am still not sure what it's purpose is, or if I'm even using it correctly.  I need to sign up for one of their webinars.

I'm hoping eventually I will have a complete handle on what each and every bill that comes in is for, as well as knowing how much we have coming in and going out.  For now, I am the keeper of receipts and bank balances, and I am becoming a hardass when we start talking about buying things (Hubby has to be the hardass when it comes to going out for dinner, I love going to restaurants....). 
Hubby has become obsessed with coupons, he watched a few couponing shows, and instead of making fun of the extreme couponers, now he gets tips and tricks from them.  He was so excited when he got dental floss for free because he had a coupon, I told him this was "the start of it all".  Maybe we will become as good as those people on the show, with the exception of buying stuff we don't need in mass quantities.

For now, a tip for all of you Ladies out there (single or not), get to know your bills, accounts, and start budgeting, you will be happy you did.

The Goop Shame

I was thinking about renaming my challenge, I haven't come up with a better name, but knowing that Gwenyth Paltrow is out there somewhere in the world, hawking her "GOOP" website, really makes me want to rename it so this blog somehow doesn't come up in search results for her crap....

Anyway, I took some pictures today, finally, to show everyone just how much crap I am working with.
The follow pictures are of all of the lotions of bodywashes (and some perfumes) that I could round up in the house, I know there are a few running loose but I haven't managed to find them yet.

The first picture shows you how much bodywash I have to use (I'm going to smell SOOOOO GOOD), it's on the left and there are 5 big bottles and 2 small sample bottles.

 The second pictures is from a different angle and shows you all the perfumes and lotions I have to go through (I will still smell SOOOOO good and my skin will be soooo soft, ha).  It's hard to tell but there are about 5 different perfume bottles in various stages of "empty-ness".  There are also about 10 various sized bottles of lotions, also in various stages of empty-ness.  I left my almost empty tube of Malibu heat, to show you my progress (also to show the ridiculous names).  It doesn't smell like the beach, or like any sort of temperature, it smells like straight up sugary goodness, so it's real name should say "Don't eat this".

 Just when you thought to yourself, ah, that's not so bad, there is more.  Thankfully this is all kids lotions, but chances are I'm still going to have to use it (hopefully on the kids, not me, can't stand the smell of that pink Johnson and Johnson stuff).  Not to mention there are 2 more tubes of Aveeno kicking around in the kids room.  Thankfully, there is 1 bottle left of baby wash, and that little red bottle in the bottom of the picture is the last of the body wash.

While I'm not particularily "shamed" by this pictures, I feel like it is a shame.  It's a shame that I have all these lotions and bodywashes and fantastic smelling smelly things when I don't need them.  It seems really wasteful to have such a huge quantity of stuff for 1 person.  I am hoping in 6 months time to take a new picture of near-empty cabinets, with only a few products kicking around.

Eshakti and Pic Monkey

Now before I go on with this blog post, I will say this, the opinions I am giving are my own, because frankly, this blog doesnt get a lot of traffic, and therefore no one wants me to "try out their stuff".  *sigh* Maybe someday I'll get free stuff like all the cool kids out there....

Anyway, I believe I heard about Eshakti via craftster.org (love that site, seriously great site for crafty people of all domains).  I clicked on the link, but I am always weary of these "buy clothes from a site you have never heard of".  Then again, they directed me towards Modcloth, and they are a legit website.
I stalked this website for close to a year, and in particular I started stalking a shirt.  I liked it for so many reasons, well one in particular

That neckline, ugh I LOVE IT!

 I checked out the results on google, and for the most part it gets great reviews (although about 2-3 years ago it did get some not so great reviews, it seems to have pulled itself around.) A bonus was most of the sewing blogs I follow raved about it, had ordered from it (or gotten some samples for their input), and some of those lovely ladies even had discount codes for money off.  I finally decided to take the plunge before it was too late and the top was gone.  Here is the top on me;

Voila, a top.

It might not look as great as it does on the mannequin (the arms are a little tight), but I did get a compliment on the day I wore it (success!!).  I'm not sure why I'm so excited to post about it, but if you are my friend Karen, you know that I have been bugging you about dresses from this website (sorry).  I want you to know that this website is legit, so if you order yourself something pretty from there, it will come to you.  The quality of the top was better than expected, it was quite a thick, sturdy cotton material.  I want to order a ton more stuff, but I will need to wait until another discount code comes up (they are a bit pricey for me). 
I didn't use the customisable options that they have, but that's another great feature people love.  You can shorter or lengthen dresses, or you can change sleeves as well for a few extra dollars.  So, there you go my friends (or hey, even a random blogger who may have stumbled on this site by accident).  This is not a paid endorsement, just a girl who likes to shop online, and stalk shirts.


Lastly- I was playing around on Pic Monkey, which is why my picture is on filter overload.  Once I get the hang of it, I will probably adjust a lot of my photos for both of my blogs on Pic Monkey (it's mostly free).  I'm always jealous of others blogs and the gorgeous photos they post.  I have no photography skills, and am usually the one who has to take my own photos for either blog so I need all the help I can get.

"Ditch the goop" my future strategy to declutter my life

If I ever find the blog post about "ditching the goop" I shall post it here.  What the whole premise of it was, is to rid yourself of all the lotions and gels and all of the numerous bottled smells we keep around the house in favour of 1 universal lotion.  As we were packing up at our old house for the move I found about 10+ different bottles, tubes and jars of different lotions of all scents and sizes and then I was mad.  I was mad at myself for having to pack all this crap and then lug all this crap, and then eventually unpack all the same crap at the new house. I was also mad that i had bought more lotions than i would need to use in a year. The biggest offender was bath and body works Lotions, and not only did I have tons of different scents (some of which I didn't buy, and they weren't scents I go crazy for, but they still smell nice) I also had a crap ton of shower gel.  Don't get me wrong, I love the smell of their stuff, but why do they give them such weird names "coconut lime breeze" (WTH does that even mean? I'm pretty sure that's not a real thing and if it is, I am scared to think what the storm that follows it might pelt us with).  Not only do I use my lotions infrequently but because of the uber girly smells, Andy won't use them, and I don't want to use them on the kids because they have such sensitive skin.  So I have promised myself that I am going to stop buying these lotions and have given my mom the notice as well, that from this point on I will no longer need them. I will be trying within the next year to get through all of this goop, pairing down, and eventually lead a relatively goop free life (with the exception of Aveeno lotion, Andy, the kids and I  will use that stuff no problem). On my next move I want to be able to open my cabinets and smile because I have barely anything to pack.  I will be doing a goop round-up and will go from there.  On a side note, I will say that after C was born I received so much baby wash that  3 years later I am  FINALLY getting to the last bottle!  First stop - goop round up, next stop - Kids toy round up.  This should get interesting....

Aaannnd we've moved.

It's been a week since we moved into the new house.  The great news is the kids seem to enjoy sharing a room. The good news is, we have started unpacking, the bad news is, we aren't even close to unpacking.  My sewing stuff is being held hostage is tons of different boxes and I've been going all week and taking the kids places that I haven't even bothered trying to unpack stuff.  The kitchen is coming together slowly, but the big problem is Andy works during the day and I have one non napper on my hands. If I even think about unpacking a box C starts pulling in the fridge looking for food.  No break there. The last thing Andy (and I) want to do is unpack after a long day of work/toddler wrangling. Plus I'm trying to make sure we both keep our workout routines.  I'm hoping this weekend involves unpacking and organizing. Maybe a trip out of the house to buy storage bins (hah, in my dreams, Andy hates bins).  I also hope to find out if there really truly is a cat living in our garage.  I commented to Andy that it smelled like cat urine in the garage (having had a kitty for many years I KNOW that smell).  Today the smell was horrid and there was a puddle under the car.  I think the cat (if it was truly a cat) must have been trapped in the garage but escaped when we opened the garage door.  I went around the garage kicking boxes and shaking loose items to see if there was a scared cat anywhere but so far so good.  We locked the cat door to make sure we don't get an unexpected visitor.  Don't get me wrong, I love cats but not when they are showing up to a house I'm not allowed to keep pets in.  So if I get any stuff done this weekend, I guess I will update the life blog.

Ttfn.

Ugh, moving....

So, before all my Canadian friends and family get too excited, no I am not moving back home (I still have to get my citizenship here first before we can even think of moving up there).  I am also not leaving Texas, or even the town we live in for that matter.  We are moving about 5-10 minutes away from the house we currently live in, and I have to say this, MOVING SUCKS.  If it were up to us, we wouldn't leave at all, but our landlord needs her house back since she cannot find an apartment complex that will rent to her and 5 dogs.  She has given us plenty of notice, and since our lease isn't up in June, we still have lots of time, but we ended up finding a place in Mid- February that allowed us to move in March 1st.  So that means, I SHOULD be packing, but I am not.  The house is just as nice as the one we currently live in, but the thought of packing up all of our stuff and then unpacking it just makes me crazy.

We are also losing our "play room" (which was really just a converted garage), but we are gaining a garage (which means we can store our crap that we don't need).  We have decided that C and G can share a room since they seem so fond of each other and G seems to light up in the morning when C comes to get her.  The house is 3 bedrooms so the third room will become the Sewing/Home office, and possibly the spare room when guests come visit.
There are things that I love about the house we currently live in, but then again there are things about the new house that I am looking forward too, like say - having a pantry and a linen closet!  So, if I seem a little quiet for a while on this blog, and my sewing blog, now you know.
For now, I am just slowly packing and purging all of the stuff we have accumulated since we moved in together and had kids.

TTFN

"The Haircut"

This post was long long overdue, and I posted the pictures on facebook the same day I was *supposed to* post this blog post, but then I lost track of time and then just didn't post.

This post is all about the 9th of October 2012, aka - The big mop chop.

I have to say, I had absolutely no anxiety about cutting my hair, however, now I am nervous as to whether or not they recieved it.  I sent it off on the 13th of October, and they did say that it can take up to 60 days to acknowledge that they have it.  It has been much longer than that and I'm not even sure if I want to know or not.  My fear is I spent all that time growing my hair and now it's lost forever in the postal system, it will never know it's destiny as a future wig.

Back to the story, I went into the hairdressers, fearful that my hair wouldn't be long enough, thankfully it was, but the next time I donate it I will make sure that there will be more than enough, she stretched it out and put elastics down the entire pony-tail.  This was for measurement as well as keeping it all together.
After she snipped it all off, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders (or head, or whatev).
She spent the next hour and a half cutting and styling my hair, because as she pointed out - This wasn't a normal haircut, it was completely restructuring my hair.
It's still pretty short, but I've been lazy and wearing it curly rather than straightening it. I like it short, so does Andy, but I told him that I am going to grow it out, so he'd better not get to used to it.

How have my resolutions been going?

In a word "Not well".  Thankfully it's only 4 days in, so I'm not a failure.  I have been having a rough Christmas.  Actually from October to December, weightloss has been a disaster for me.  From Thanksgiving to Halloween, to another Thanksgiving to Christmas dinner, I have been a slacker.  I've seen a bit of weight put back on, nothing too crazy, but if I weren't paying attention week to week then it might be a lot worse than it actually is.  I've had too many "write off" weeks, in the past month so I finally decided to watch what I'm eating, but also realize that not everything is in my grasp (travelling and eating on the road SUCK!!!).  I have been to 1 jazzercise class since the new year began, and I bought a groupon for a kickboxing class, but I need something MORE.  I need structure and a gym, I need someone to guide me and coach me.  I am a slacker and I feel much better if I have a teacher who can tell me what to do, because frankly I don't know what to do when I am on my own.
I am really hoping to get the hubby on board to enrolling in a gym that includes childcare (for free), I know they are a bit more of a drive, but if I drop him off at work, and then go to a gym that takes care of my workout for the day, leaving him free to run after his day is finished.  I still haven't found a nutritionist, and I keep telling myself that I will, but only time will tell if I keep that promise.  Still going to keep up with the weightwatchers, as I have been successful in part because of them.
I'm looking forward to what this New Year will hold, and hopefully in the next few months I will be able to blog that I am keeping all the promises I made to myself.

180, Long time no write...

I finally hit my 180, I'm not even really sure if I hit it or if the scale was playing its usual tricks (it can fluctuate if I step on it twice in a row, um wtf?).  I'm gearing up for the holidays, but I'm also trying to be a good girl and eat well!!!  I tried Jazzercise last saturday (I didn't do it this past saturday as I've been feeling sick and crummy).  People laugh when I tell them, but it is hard in it's own right, straight up dancing for 45 minutes, it's not easy!  I'm also debating between joining the community centre gym or trying out this other kickboxing gym my coach recommended.  I looked it up online and it feels really intimidating to be trying a new gym after feeling safe for the last year.
I also am toying with the idea of just buying Groupons for classes for the next year, getting myself a cheap deal and trying something new from month to month.  I love k.boxing, but I want to try other things to see if there are other workouts that I love as much as that.  Plus I think my body is getting too used to the same routine and might enjoy something different day to day.

For now, I'm just getting pumped for Christmas.  I love everything about this time of year, people just seem to be friendly and happier all round.  I love the *pop* music and the movies (Nation Lampoon anybody?) that go with it.  So far I have been rocking out to the Waitresses - Christmas wrapping, Stevie Wonder - What Christmas means to me and Wham - Last Christmas, some of my favourite holiday classics.  Currently we are watching Christmas Vacation, always my favourite Holiday Movie, and we watched Elf the other day....ah if only it were appropriate to watch and listen to Christmas things all year long.....

Now, it may be early but I'm going to start thinking about my New Years resolution, maybe next year it will be a continuation eating healthier and working out. I might even try visiting a Nutritionist to get some better ideas of what to eat, and what not to eat. I'm also going to try and start sewing more (I've been neglecting my sewing blog, BAD GIRL!!!!).

So fellow friends and readers, what are you doing for the holiday, and what are your resolutions?

181.

*sigh*.  I'm getting really frustrated with my progress lately.  Just when I think I have a handle on my eating habits, things get thrown out of whack.  This week has been my inability to go and work out.  It's not that I haven't been motivated, it's that my gym was closed on Monday, and it was a busy day.  Tuesday my husband had an epilepsy support group and then I ended up taking Gemma to an after hours pediatric care facility and found out she has croup.  Today I was so exhausted from running around last night that I just napped.  I'm happy that I at least lost a little weight last week, but I will have to wait and see what Sunday brings.  I will just need to be conscious of what I am eating this thanksgiving and keep myself on track until I can get myself to a gym!

182

It's been too long since I updated this blog with my progress.  I've been gaining/losing/gaining and then losing again.  I've been struggling with the weight loss since "losing" my extra 14 points and I'm slowly getting the hang of a lot less points during the day.  I also found out my gym will be closing its doors permanently at the end of the year, so I'm stuck trying to find a new gym.  I want to find a new kickboxing gym, but I'm torn about just joining the community gym down the street as it would be a lot easier to go there anytime I want and not be stuck doing just one class at one specific time during the day.

I also bought a groupon for Jazzercise so my friend and I can do that for a few classes to see if it's something I'd like to keep doing.

I might try it next week since my gym is supposed to be closed next week and these classes are drop in classes.  This should be interesting......

185

I will be the first to admit that I have zero self control. When the month of October rolls around I always associate it with turkey, cake and candy. Now that there are 2 October birthdays in our house that just intensifies it.  After spending an awesome week in Canada, and having bad food that whole week, I managed to only gain a pound.  The week at home was almost like a recovery and detox from the junk food.  Then Saturday rolled around and we threw Ms.Baby another party, complete with delicious cupcakes and smash cake.  On top of that there was fruit, with caramel dip, cheese, bread and crackers.  I was so bloated after I knew Sundays weigh in would be brutal.  When I saw 185 I felt a little sad inside, but I'm trying hard to make up for it this week.  I also just had my ass handed to me when I realised that because I am weaning I am losing 14 extra points in one shot.  Kinda brutal but I just need to make some adjustments from this point on.  As for the upcoming Halloween candy I think we are going to buy some fruit snacks to handout, that way if no one shows up we won't be stuck with all that candy leftover.

Home again!

It's hard to believe that I was in my home and native land a week ago.  We flew in on the 6th of October and came back to Dallas on the 14th.  If I can speak truthfully, it wasn't a long enough trip.  I got in so many visits but they weren't long enough.  We stayed over night at my friend Karen and Dans, and spent the day/night hanging out, catching up and watching my son, and our girls play (like twins those 2).  The next day we drove to my parents house and spent the rest of the week there.  I finally got the haircut I have been talking about, and I have yet to post the pictures I promise (so sorry).  I forgot how much I loved having my haircut short.  I loved having my sister at the house, and finally got to meet my neice (I could eat her up she was so cute! and the hair!).  She was so sweet and snuggly I was sad when my sister took off a day early because the baby got sick.
We took C and G to the animal farm, it was so much fun, we went back the next day, but it was far too rainy to stay for any long period of time. 
On the following Saturday we headed back to Hamilton and I got to visit with a former co-worker and meet her daughter (so many babies have been born since I've been out of the country).  When I headed back to my friends house, I discovered that my husband is really good at keeping secrets.
I was entering the house when I discovered that my friends and family were there to surprise me.  I was a bit overwhelmed when I saw all of the faces that I know and love in one spot.  I got teary eyed as I hugged them, because frankly, I wasn't expecting it.  Like all good parties eventually everyone had to leave, which sucked big time, but people can't stay and party all night just because I want them too. 
We had an early flight out from Buffalo sunday morning, and I still haven't caught up on laundry and sleep.  My body is here in Texas, but at the moment my head is still in Ontario, I may have been able to catch up with everyone, but it made me miss every single one of them that much more.

I look forward to next year, one of my besties is getting married, and I get to be there for it!  I might try and brave travelling alone with 2 babies to spend a few extra weeks with everyone.

182.

I am happy to say I lost weight again this week! Trying to carefully to document everything I eat (because sometimes I forget to) and hoping that solves the non weight loss I keep experiencing.  I'm looking forward to the next week, i get to see family and friends that I haven't seen for about 10 months! In that time my friends daughter (who is 2 weeks younger than Jebby) has gone and grown up, I cannot wait for them to hang out.  My niece was born and I have only heard her talking over the phone, as well as seeing pictures of her cute face.  I am going to steal some kisses from that little girl! I can't believe how fast time flies, my friend who I saw last Christmas now has a 14 month old, and also has twins due in march! A former co-worker/friend has a 4 month old baby girl and one of my friends has a 3 year old (wasn't he a baby like, yesterday?).  I'm hoping to see all of my friends, and all of their children.

I'm also excited for turkey days! There is something awesome about knowing that I get to have 2 thanksgiving dinners this year, and both families get to celebrate them.  There is never any in-family fights about where you will spend thanksgiving each year because Canada has theirs early October and America has theirs in the end of November.

I get to have my 30th birthday and Gems 1st with my family (which also means, CAKE!), last but not least, I get my long awaited hair cut, I'm looking forward to getting this load of hair off of me.

There is so much I'm looking forward to that I feel like this week might drag.

183 (oh hey sorry for the absence)

So I have been slacking on my personal blog lately, pure laziness on my part.  Andy had gone away on business from Sunday to Tuesday so it was just me and the babies, I spent most of my days trying to entertain them and then most nights cleaning, and organizing.  I made Andy swear to me that he wouldn't let the house fall into disrepair (just kidding, it's not in disrepair its just messy) again.  I want to become a more organized person, and while I don't care if my house is pinterest perfect, I would at least like it not to look like a laundry/toy monster came and barfed all over my living room.  I also realise (after many conversations with my sister) that I need less "stuff".  All my weight loss goals have been hard, but they have also made me realise that maybe sometimes it's not just weight that needs to be dealt with. I need to sort through all the clutter in the house and get rid of what I don't need.  It seems like its getting easier to do this as I get older and I really hope that someday I can shake this monkey in my back (what's the monkeys name you ask? Oh his name is "keep this you might need it someday").  Both her and I are trying hard to part with items we were always told meant something, but to us they never did.  If something means so much to one person but means nothing to someone else, then it's not fair to ask them to hold on to something they will never want or use.  There is someone out there who may want it so let them get the chance to enjoy it.  I don't want to keep feeling like the character from the labyrinth who carries all of her possessions/garbage on her back, so slowly but surely my resolution for the rest of this year, and the rest of the next year is to try and start parting with items that have no meaning or value to me.  Whether it be clothes that no longer fit, books I will never read again, useless knick knacks, and personal items that were told to have sentimental value to me (but don't), they need to go.

Now that Ive gotten that off my chest, my other news is, I finally got past the 184 barrier, and while it was only 1 pound lost, it was still great to see that number on the scale on Sunday! Virtually all of my old clothes fit again, and what doesn't fit soon will.  I'm still trying my wedding and engagement rings on every week.  Each week they get closer and closer to fitting again, I can't wait until I can get them back on my fingers, it will be like getting married all over again!

I cannot wait for that day, and soon it will be my birthday and Gems 1st birthday AND Thanksgiving!!!

184

I missed last weeks post, but surprise surprise it was still 186, I wasn't able to weigh myself on Sunday as we were heading back home from Temple, so I did it this morning and came in at 184.
I feel excited but also frustrated with myself that it takes me a few weeks to lose 2 pounds.  If I  stuck to my weight watchers and didn't go over my points every week this wouldn't be the case but my lack of will power is terrible.  In a month or so I will stop breastfeeding "Jebby" so that will drop my points down by 14, that will become a huge adjustment.  I think I need to show Andy exactly how my weight watchers works, he understands the concept and knows it works on points, but I don't think he quite understands that "tacos, or hot dogs, or lasagna" for dinner is an absolute points massacre.  I know they are easy and convenient, but to me it puts a big red X on my weight loss goals.  Maybe that will be my new goal "teach my hubby the Dos' and Dont's of weight watchers".  It's not his fault he doesn't know these things, I generally don't indulge him with the boring facts of weight loss.  He doesn't need to join me on weight watchers but I do need him to walk through it with me and understand why sometimes I freak out over food decisions and why sometimes I want to meal plan more than just "throw together easy meals".

So that's what I will do.

On the positive note, the weather cooled off for a day and I Slipped on my jeans that I've never been able to wear. Guess what? no more muffin top! They fit and are slightly loose, yay!

Until Sunday I will cross my fingers for some sort of breakthrough weight loss.