Friday, June 3, 2016

Long time no write!

Before I "blow off steam" I read This article, it ticked every single box and made me start to realize that I need to start being a stronger person and stop fighting this fight that I know I won't win.

It's been almost 2 years since my last post, I am sorry, but luckily not too many read my blog anyway. So as many of my friends and family know I quite frequently in my life have had to deal with a few narcissists. But much like anything, narcississts do not acknowledge that they are the problem starters. After the new year I had decided to stop letting people bully me and bring me down.  I used to use this blog to blow off steam about how I was feeling, until it angered someone, and then I was told to stop "feeling" and "blowing off steam". I can honestly say I've hit many, many low points in my life and when dealing with certain people makes you feel like you'd rather be other places, it's time to get a backbone and stand up for yourself. It won't ever be easy, and it will always be "my fault" but I'm tired. I'm tired of being told that I am always in the wrong. I'm tired of consoling my spouse because he doesn't know what he did wrong or why he was suddenly the worst human possible. I am tired of drama and Facebook blocking and tattle taling on me because you read something that hurt your feelings. I'm tired of people trying to use my words against me. I'm tired of people using their children as a pawn to get back at people and purposely making them cry.  Its a drain on my emotional resources. I have to remember at the end of the day the most important people to me are the ones who really love me. They would never say something to purposely hurt me or try to break me emotionally. They know who they are and I love them right back.

My backbone will get stronger each day I remind myself that you have no control over me, your words are empty and nothing you can do or say will affect me ever again.