Monday, February 28, 2011

Feb 28th, 2010

I didn't need to think of a clever name for this post, it is what it is. The date is forever going to hold bad memories for me, and those memories are being scared that I was going to lose my nephew, and then those fears coming true.
As I've stated in many previous posts, when Lindsay told me Jackson was in the hospital, I was scared, nervous, and I was also crying inside (because whenever I would start to tear up, my hubby would stop me, and tell me everything was going to be ok....well it wasn't).
The trip to Kingston was awful, and the one thing I've never mentioned, but sticks in my memory is a song that came up on my Ipod. I was trying to keep my spirits up by listening to music, when the song "Wires" by Athlete popped up. I tried to listen, but I couldn't, I knew that song was going to break me, and I turned it off as the tears came into my eyes.

In the Song "Wires" The singer is telling the story of running through the corridors of the hospital, to his baby, needing to make sure they will be alright. He sees them in the hospital with wires attached all over their body, but when he looks into their eyes, he knew they were going to be ok.
I only wish the ending of that song had held true in Jacksons life. I wish I could have seen it in his eyes that he would be alright...I never got to, he didn't make it, and by the time we got to the hospital he was gone. I had only held him a week before, so happy and full of life, and now he was gone.
I still haven't listened to that song since then.

I am going to release balloons after Boogs wakes up from his nap. He may not have known Jackson while he was on earth, but I know there is a connection deep down with them. He sees his pictures in the house, and points to them once in a while. He may not fully understand who that other baby is, but one day, he will.

There isn't much more to say, I'm still angry, and sad, even though we have some answers as to why he died, it doesn't make me feel better.

I just want my nephew back.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

friggin eh!

So, I know I'm not the first of my friends (as many of them have reached out, and shared their experience), but last night my car was broken into, and I just have to vent how I am feeling.
Firstly, I am angry, it's an Invasion of Privacy, and I was so upset/mad/frustrated by the whole thing.
Secondly, I felt like an idiot. I kept telling myself "Don't forget to take the GPS out of the car", but I didn't, the worst part was, we had 2 of them, and BOTH of them were in the car, and then stolen.
I was so angry last night I wanted to kill whoever stole them. Not, hurt or maim, but don't right beat them to death. That's how angry I was, why were they so greedy that they couldn't just take one GPS, they took both? They left my husbands ancient Ipod, but they took all the cords that were in the car.
I was also a bit irked at the fact that I am always trying to hide those cords, so when people look in the car they won't see them, Unfortunately my husband doesn't see it the way I do, so they were out in the open, just screaming "Hey, we have expensive shit in this car, STEAL IT!". But no, it isn't his fault, it could have happened regardless.
There were 3 other cars in the lot that were broken into at the same time, so we weren't alone in feeling violated.
They went through the glove box (did you find what you wanted in there douchebags?), they went through the consoles (I think you took some burned CDs as well as the GPS units, WAY TO GO) and you took all the charging cords (but hey, thanks for leaving the plug so we don't have to replace that). They left the garage door opener (good show guys, we have better stuff at the house, but now you won't get to steal it), and thankfully they didn't steal any of the insurance which had our address on it (because if you did, and then didn't steal the door opener, well, how are you going to get into our place)? We always double bolt our doors, but after the incidents at the neighbours, I still don't feel safe....maybe they wrote our address down? I really don't know :(.
If they use the GPS to track our house, well they are going to end up at our old apartment, which is in East Dallas....which is a shithole....lets hope they don't get mugged while trying to break into that place!
If they use the directions to our new place, so loving labled "APT", well, they still have to trudge through the whole complex, because there is no apartment number in the GPS itself.
Either way, I am still nervous, that maybe...just maybe they memorized where we live. If they didn't, then frankly, I don't care, they got what they wanted, and they didn't steal the most important thing in that car.

The Car Seat.

So, dear thieves....enjoy your life, which is probably a really sad existence. You are probably some useless thug, who would rather steal from hard working people than go out and get a job.
When you do get caught (because people like you will, you have a very low education level, you aren't that clever or smart, you just got lucky). I hope that you can hold your head up high, and be proud that you stole some meaningless technology that will be outdated in the next few years.