Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Happy Birthday Jackson

Except that it's not happy, because you aren't here with us, and it sucks.
I never thought in a million years that you would not be here for your 1st birthday, because really, why would anyone think that you wouldn't be?
I have such a heavy heart whenever I think about you and how you left us too soon, and the thought of your sweet little face not being with us on this earth anymore brings me to tears.
I often think "everyone else has their nephews, why don't I have mine". If I knew that Clark would grow up happy and healthy with just one parent, I would gladly trade my life to have you back with us on earth. You made your Mommy and Daddy so happy, when you left, so many things changed. I look at your pictures on a daily basis, and think to myself "why did this have to happen to you, why does this have to happen to anyone?". Every big occasion we've had without you has been filled with mixed emotions, we are all together, trying to act happy knowing that deep down you are missing.
It rained all day today, just down poured, I think it was just a reminder that today isn't a happy day, it never will be anymore. We had one good November 2, and that was in 2009 when you were born Jackson. Now that you are gone, it's a day of remembrance, we remember that we were happy once, that was when you were here on earth.
I miss you so much my little buddy, I send you my love everyday and I appreciate when you come to me in my dreams.

Love you forever
Auntie Lisa

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