Clark is 4 months!

It happened on July 7th, just like any normal day, I woke up and boom, he was 4 months old!
There was no spectacular fireworks show for him, but it still meant a lot to me.
The past week I'd been terrified, and slept in Clarks room, our neighbour had their door kicked in, and I was frightened to leave him.
I now know that the neighbours are being evicted, and that the door kicking was possibly "domestic", it helped me sleep a bit better at night, but I would still like an alarm system.
Now my silly little monkey moves around so much at night that I lay him one way in the crib and in the morning he is always turned the other way, he has even gotten into the habit of kicking his legs at night and turning on his crib mobile (or whatever it is that makes lights and sounds). It makes me laugh everytime he does it, and sometimes if he's fussing it helps put him back to sleep, so congratulations bud, you just self soothed yourself ;).
He chews on his giraffe like it's going out of style and he is borderline giggling, I can't wait for the giggle show to start, that will be awesome.

But, if I'm going to be honest here, I will say this, when Clark turned 4 months, my thoughts were "Jackson never got to make it to 4 months" and "Jackson would be 8 months old now".
So I guess that's where I'm at, there is nothing wrong with being joyful about Clark turning 4 months, and there is nothing wrong with mourning the loss of Jackson who isn't with us anymore.